tI was trying to think about when I first started to REALLY get into all the woo-woo stuff.
If you are wondering what I mean by "woo-woo" stuff, I mean: amazing, metaphysical, spiritual, high vibe, magical, peace and love type of stuff.
I realized, I've kinda always been into it.
As a child, one of my favorite movies was Matilda. I was fascinated with her because her power was all in her MIND. It didn't come from some supernatural potion, it was within her. I loved that.
Another past time of mine was creating magical "potions" and combinations with things I would gather in the backyard. I would fill up pails with mud, sticks, and leaves. I would use "spells" as I mixed my findings from nature together. I fully believed in the power of nature. I'd scream if a bug came near me, but other than that, totally connected with nature.
I ended up ignoring this connection as an adolescent. I chose TRL and AIM over being outside. I did, however, go through a time as a young teen where I found prayer and self-help books to be extremely helpful. Yet another glimpse of what was to come.
College is where I was introduced to meditation. I also took an Earth-Based Religions course that totally opened my mind and soul. While I thought these things were super cool and meditation was super helpful for relaxing, I still wasn't quite grasping why these topics and themes were coming into my life.
In grad school, there was a woman in my cohort who spoke a lot about the mind-body connection. She talked about working with a shaman and the energy of crystals. Once again, I had no idea that she was yet another sign of what was coming my way.
Somewhere in between grad school and my first round of May Cause Miracles, my love for the woo-woo world truly flourished. At first, I wished I could pinpoint the moment, the crystal, the meditation. What cemented this for me? Now, I realize that it is kind of beautiful that there was not just one moment. This connection to woo woo has always been there, that is why I didn't need a moment to make it happen.
I'm so happy I chased this connection. There are so many more things that bring me happiness now and they aren't just material things. I find so much joy in spending 20 minutes meditating to kundalini chanting. Giving myself an angel card reading can provide so much clarity and validation. Knowing what the chakras mean help me understand what my body is trying to tell me. Healing crystals, archangels, spirit guides...
This lifestyle has so much to offer.
This is what I hope for people. I hope they find a way of living that brings them the peace and happiness that the woo-woo world has brought me.
What peaked your interest in the woo-woo world?
What do you wish to know more about?
When I dived into the woo-woo world, I dived in head first. I wanted to learn as much as I could. It was slightly overwhelming knowing where to start and what information to gather first.
I wished for a space where I could build a foundation of knowledge. This woo-woo stuff was so much fun to learn about and I was ready for a little bit of everything.
I couldn't find the space then, but now I know, it is because I was meant to create it.
In my newest self-study course, you will get a loving introduction to the woo-woo world. There are videos and PDFS about everything from energy protection to spirit guides to angel numbers. I wanted to make it simple and accessible. The investment is a no-brainer and the content is so much fun. Click here to learn more:
**WARNING: this post contains content about sexual harassment and strong language that may be upsetting for some readers. Please use caution while reading. I'm holding space for love and light for you.**
This isn't an easy blog post to write.
If I'm being totally transparent, I'm experiencing a lot of resistance as I type this out.
After this weekend though, this blog post wasn't an option.
It's mandatory. I have to talk about this.
I tried to think of the best way to start. Do I list the memories that I have of being sexually harassed? Do I tell you guys about the time that I was minutes away from being sexually assaulted?
I could list a hundred memories. So could almost every single girl you know. So no, I'm not going to list every single memory.
I am however going to tell you all about one person.
I repressed the memories of this person deep. He was so fucked up. Everything he said... everything he did... fucked up.
I was 15 years old at my first "real" job (meaning one that didn't include family).
I worked for a family owned business.
Small town + small business = safe, right?
This safe, small town, family owned business ended up being the setting for some of the most intense and consistent sexual harassment I'd ever experience.
It would start with unwelcome comments regarding my appearance.
It turned into being cornered in the walk in freezer with unwanted advances.
I can feel his words when I asked him to stop...
No one can hear you scream in here.
I felt helpless. I felt scared.
Luckily someone walked in. I was saved from that moment.
....things only got worse.
Every time I would walk into work he would say something along the lines of "don't look at me. you are so fucking ugly you can't look at me." "you are so gross, no one will ever want you" "I will make your life a living hell till you quit."
Feel free to put all of this on repeat loop for a year.
A fucking year.
The only thing that made it stop was when he finally quit.
Fast forward 10 years....
Why am I talking about this now?
It was my sister's birthday this weekend. She ended up working at this same business and had her own terrible experiences with this person.
He ended up being at the bar.
I felt myself leave my body. I didn't feel safe.
I couldn't be in the same area as him for longer than 10 minutes. I wanted to cry. It felt hard to breathe.
I felt so unsafe.
I couldn't stay to celebrate because I couldn't be around this fucking asshole who tore me down and brought me so much pain.
My intuition was screaming at me. Why was he there? He shouldn't be there. If he's there I can't be there.
What happened after I left is not my story to tell, but it did push me to write this blog.
I know I am not this only girl this person has hurt.
So for all of you,
me fucking too.
I know you feel silenced. I know the power behind last names and small towns. I know you feel alone. I'm so sorry you feel alone. I'm so sorry for every time one of us has spoken up we've been told "that's just who he is, deal with it." I know he should be the one apologizing, but he won't. We know he won't.
I hear you. I feel you. I'm angry for me and I'm angry for you.
I don't need to be told how to stay safe from rape. Trust me- I know. Every woman knows. We think about it almost daily. I don't need your fucking lectures on what to wear or how much to drink.
The victims/survivors/thrivers are not the ones who need the lectures.
Please, I beg you, if you have friends like the guy I described above, tell them what an asshole they are being. Call them out for being dangerous. Tell them that the way they treat people is WRONG. Stop condoning jokes about rape. Stop encouraging your friend to get her "drunk enough." Fucking stop having no regard for human life.
This is why I am choosing now to talk about it. This is why for me, at this point, I can't just stay quiet. I can't continue to watch the soul's of people that I love be trampled on by sexual harassment and assault.
For all of you ready for there to be real change,
Me fucking too.